Ultimate Shoppin Trip
by greatbalancerofthecosmos
Summary: Ulquiorra and Orihime go on the Ultimate Shopping Trip. Takes place in the same Time and Universe as Life in Hueco Mundo
1. The Idea

**I do not own Bleach in any way.**

"Ok woman what is it this time." Said Ulquiorra

"I want to take you to the World of the living." Said Orihime.

"Not interested I have already been there." the EMO Espada

"Ah come on I really wanted to take you shopping." cried Orihime

"But there is a store here in Las Noches" said the Espada

"Yeah but they do not have the clothes I like." cried the orange haired girl

"Ok but only for this one time." said the sadden Uuquiorra

"YYYAAAYYY!" screamed Orihime

As Ulquiorra used descorrer to open a gangarta to Karakura town.

As the couple walked they notice a video game store in a Plaza.

"I remember when video games were forbidden in Hueco Mundo."

"Hey Ulquiorra why were video games forbidden in Hueco Mundo in the first place." ask the busty girl beside him.

"Because when Lord Aizen was still alive he thought that video games were created to make people stay indoors and not go to war."

"Oh because he is dead Arrancars have free will and could make up there own minds on what is good or not."

"Yes" said the Espada

"Hey lets get you a Geigai I nearly forgot. hurry! Come on!" said Orihime in surprise

As Ulquiorra knew that the girl was trying to teach him EMOtions and maybe it was working.

**Yes this takes place in the same universe and time as my other story Life in Hueco Mundo the Explianation of how Aizen died is going to be spread out in both stories. Tune in next time on another chapter of both Life in Hueco Mundo and Ultimate Shopping Trip. **


	2. The Bookstore

**I do not own Bleach**

After Orihime and Ulquiorra got a gigai they went to a Bookstore we they walked in Orihime rushed to the Romance section while Ulquiorra just pick up the first book he saw.

"The Art of Eastern Asian Yo Mamma Fighting." He thought to himself while opening the book to a random page.

"_When opponent A says Yo Mamma so fat she makes Buddha look like an anorexic. Reply with Yo Mamma so fat she makes the Cosmos say DDDAAAMMMNNN."_

Ulquiorra laid the book back down.

"Let's see want Manga they have."

While walking to the manga he saw a small Quincy boy crying.

"Why are you crying" the Espada said to the small boy

"That Shinigami took my Quincy Cross Can you get it back" the boy said

"Ok"

As Ulquiorra walked over to the Shinigami he saw that it was also a young boy which means he cannot do anything violent so he spoke

"You know it is very impolite to take stuff take that is not yours." Ulquiorra said releasing some of his energy.

"Um okay well um here I don't even want it anymore." Cried the Shinigami boy

As Ulquiorra returned the cross he saw sitting the boy reading a sonic the Hedgehog comic book with some flowers next to him

"What is with the flowers?"

"They are for this girl I like but she lives in Hueco Mundo."Said the young boy

"I live in Hueco Mundo maybe I can deliver them for you when I get done shopping."

"REALLY" the boy said with huge sparking eyes.

"Yes"

"Ok here is the Address"

Then Ulquiorra thought to himself

"Wait why is a Quincy doing in Hueco Mundo."

As he pondered about that Orihime came back with a stack of books and said

"Are you done looking around?"

"No" he replied harsh

When Ulquiorra finally reach the manga section he saw that it was pack full of the precious manga he always enjoyed he got two volumes of Full Metal Alchemist, Naruto and Inuyasha. Next to the Manga was a book of EMOtions.

"Woman I am finished with my shopping shall we go?" he asked looking for Orihime.

"Ok we pay for these and go to the next store."

**Ah shit what is she planning now tune next time and review. Also review on my other story. Fo Shizzle**


	3. The Entertainment Store Pt 1

**I do not own Bleach**

"What store are we going to next?" said Ulquiorra

"AN ENTERTAINMENT STORE!" screamed Orihime

"Why this?" he asked

"Well I just like entertainment retail stores it reminds me of all the forms of media out there. Plus their might be some things you might like in there."

"Ok let us enter."

When they walked in Orihimes eyes let up with joy. Ulquiorra just stood there like he didn't give a shit.

"And what is it that you think I would even like?"

"There is so much here that I am sure you will find something to like here."

"Not likely."

So the two separated and looked for something they like. Ulquiorra stumbled open the Video Games.

"Hmm what is this?" He thought as he looked closer

There was a copy of Star Wars the Old Republic

"Interesting this is what the lower class Arrancar play during their free time."

He then reaches for the copy.

"This does look like something fun." He said with a little smirk

Orihime smiled from the corner to see him developing EMOtions.

"Sooo Ulquiorra. How do you feel?" asked Orihime

"I feel good." He responded

"Great! Want to see what Anime they have?"

"Yes I would love to go."

As the two walked forward Orihime notice a rap battle.

**Stopping it right there just wait I well make a Chapter better than anything I typed before. Yes Ulquiorra learned the meaning of fun. Now let my near divine mind brew something up for the next Chapter. Don't forget to review and tell me if there are any errors. Greatbalancerofthecosmos out.**


	4. The Entertainment Store Pt 2

**I do not own Bleach **

As Ulquiorra was challenge by Grimmjow Orihime was worried what both of them might do.

"I accept your challenge." Said Ulquiorra with a tence look

"Ulquiorra you don't have to do this." Begged Orihime

"COME ONE YOU EMO BITCH!" Screamed Grimmjow

Orihime has seen Grimmjow rap, and was afraid of what might happen if him and Ulquiorra had a rap battle. But as Ulquiorra escaped her grip she saw that he had the mind of a winner. Grimmjow went first.

"How can you beat me when my rhymes are bitching? Your voice sounds like an old man's balls an itching."

Then Ulquiorra in a calm voice

"There is no way you can't be me Grimmjow when I heard you sucked Choe Neng Poww. You always talk about how you fucked Ying. But what you really do is look up Yoai on Bing.

Grimmjow was next.

"What can you say about how to score? With that ugly bore of a whore. I know she be cheating when she came to me and asked for a beating. You don't even come close to having sex. The most you can do is to get fan girls horny at best."

Then something fired up in Ulqiorra's heart and started Rhyming in a good voice

"How dare you call her a slut! When all you do is take it in the butt. All you want is a dick to suck. Then you say it was a girl you fuck."

Grimmjow then say

"That is lie fo shizzle but when I her and put it between my leg up and down til I start to jizzle."

Uquiorra your turn

"You're bad at flirting, and then only thing you're getting is a jerkin the gerkin."

**WHO WON! WHO'S NEXT! YOU DECIDE!**


End file.
